When using online dating sites, many women concentrate too much on "how good the site is" – things like whether it has great guys showing online, and what it costs. How many actually worry about their own role in presenting a great profile and image to a man? How can a woman get a man interested if she spends little time preparing and maintaining her online profile?
Casual or Serious Dating?
It's important to consider what kind of relationship is sought; something casual, or something longer term? Serious dating intent or just fun? Drafting an online profile requires honesty about what's sought right from the outset; stating this in the online write-up helps both parties.
Many women believe men are only "out for one thing" and have a negative view of what men want. In reality, there are as many males seeking a true connection and relationship, so being bold enough to state desires overtly will get a profile taken seriously by a man with matching needs. He'll appreciate a straight-talking, no-nonsense approach. Those seeking frivolous liaisons may be deterred but does it matter? What's the point in wasting time on a mismatch?
Write an Interesting and Personalised Dating Profile
Instead of a generic profile with a cut-and-dried listing of hobbies and interests, imagine speaking to the type of man desired. Chatty paragraphs showing personality, humour, anecdote, giving some insight into day-to-day life and offering a little cheekiness or teasing are more insightful; it's hard to get a sense of someone's personality from a dry online profile with lists of "likes and dislikes."
Update Internet-Dating Profiles Frequently
Many online profiles never change; they stay available for years in some cases, with the same blurb, the same photos. This isn't convincing. It has to be remembered that many guys revisit sites they used earlier; maybe they're returning after the end of a relationship. They certainly don't want to see women's profiles looking exactly the same as a year ago!
Single women are missing opportunities to sell themselves by telling men what's changed about them. Not only do attitudes and desires shift, but also interests, homes, jobs and lifestyles.
An advertiser revisiting their profile at least once a month and updating it to reflect what's really happening will attract guys wanting someone a little different. Changing just a few words on a frequent basis can lure in men who were previously undecided, and will bring a whole new set of responses.
Online Dating Profile Photos
This part really shouldn't be needed but unfortunately many women use old and totally inapplicable photos; this is one of the major causes of dates failing when people come face-to-face.
"She was nothing like the pics" is a common complaint. That photograph taken ten years ago may well seem glamorous but is now totally misrepresentative unless placed among many very recent shots. Even in that case it should be explained that the particular photo is an older one. Photos should reflect current weight, dress sense, hairstyle and hair length – they need to be that recent. Frequent photo changes and updates show a more serious, truthful and proactive stance.
Photo Variety is Important
Every good online profile needs a set of photos, rather than one or two. They should show the advertiser in different settings, some full length – showing body shape and dress – and some close-up facial shots and pics taken from the side, to show the user who he'll really get to meet. Again, many men are not as superficial as it's surmised!
Men using internet dating sites like to see a pretty girl but equally, if they're seeking a more serious relationship they'll want integrity and personality to be shown too; being truthful and accurate in the photographic representation will go a long way to making that profile stand out.
Tone and Content of the Internet Dating Profile
The tone of a good internet dating profile should be warm, friendly, approachable. Profiles listing negatives associated with the male sex, unfair generalizations, and references to what the ex-partner did and why this now isn't sought, will just alienate guys. Men using the internet to find romance want positivity and any sniff of heartbreak or bitterness will send most men running the other way.
Therefore, no matter what a woman's intent when she places her profile online, giving some consideration to what she'd like and how best to portray this, will bring a more targeted response.