How to Attract Women

It could be argued that modern perceptions of male female dynamics, societal pressures, along with skewed media coverage have confused the issue of attraction more than they have illuminated the subject.

The closest most men have come to useful dating advice is outdated and lame pick-up lines told to them by their friends. There is better and more learned advice available these days, and it is available in abundance on the internet.

A quick examination of the key beliefs of dating gurus would indicate, maybe surprisingly, a consensus of opinion on what attracts women. And this convergence of thought goes against much of what is commonly excepted in society and what most of us read in the media and see on TV every week.

Being successful in the dating market means learning from your mistakes, or even better, the mistakes of others. You can achieve your goals in chatting up girls in pubs, clubs, malls and bus stops if you have a healthy positive attitude and a good understanding of the triggers of attraction in women.

This guide is by no means exhaustive and you will need to do further reading to up your game, but some useful pointers with further reading references are included. Here I am referring to a first date or first approach, although many of the techniques for developing attraction in girls need to be continued indefinitely in relationships and marriage.

Be Aware that Men and Women are Different

What is attractive for men is not necessarily attractive for women and vice versa. Being equal does not mean being the same.

Generally men are attracted to women more physically, while women tend to focus more on status and personality.

It shouldn’t have escaped your attention that women are pickier than men. Clearly there are evolutionary reasons for this – the more successful females have been those that have been successful in attracting males and holding onto partners with the right characteristics. Again, through the eyes of genes, the male’s priorities are not quite the same. More partners allows the male more opportunities to pass his genes on to the next generation. Of course humans are highly evolved mammals now acting within accepted cultural boundaries and bowing to societal pressures and etiquette. But do not underestimate the power of millions of years of evolution in directing human behavior, especially in relationships.

Most of all, be aware that attraction can be "built" in females more than it can be in men. With men it is largely instantaneous, with women, it can be generated over time, with skillful words and actions.

Get Ahead of the Competition if You Want to Attract Girls

One thing men often forget to do is to look at attraction from a female point of view. Girls are often hit on or flirted with, numerous times each week, beautiful women will be hit on every day! Women understandably develop defence mechanisms to deal with this. A fresh and interesting approach is better than adopting the same tired and tedious techniques. Learn how to circumnavigate these defence mechanisms and use a surprisingly novel approach.

Confidence is the Key to Attracting Women

Many of the personality traits that women appreciate, are unconsciously sought after ones, but confidence is one that tops most "what women want" lists. Confidence is inherent in a man’s body language and his speech and even if he isn’t saying much of interest, it shines through. Following these steps will help you feel and appear confident:

• Posture is important so stand up straight and proud.
• Make your movements slow and considered.
• Speak slowly and clearly.
• Never allow your confidence level to drop no matter what – women often employ abrasive techniques to test the mettle of men who approach them. If you slump your shoulders and stop smiling and start behaving timidly, you’ve failed the test!
• Smile and laugh often to show you are comfortable in yourself and with women.

An Attitude can be Useful in Turning a Girl On

The right attitude is critical. A woman’s natural instinct is to be attracted to a man who demonstrates in his body language especially, that he is calm, in control and that he has no need for her approval. Never try to gain a woman’s approval or ever look like you are concerned about what she thinks of you. You want to be thought of as a leader, not a puppy dog that follows a girl and does what he is told. There is nothing more injurious to your approach than a signal that you are a "wuss" who requires the approval of women to be comfortable in himself.

Being Funny is a Great Asset in Dating

You don’t have to be a stand up comedian to make a girl laugh. Be prepared to make fun of her (and yourself if appropriate). Pick up on things she says and turn them around, even in a silly way. For instance, if she compliments you, throw it back jokingly, saying she is trying to pick you up. If you're not naturally funny, read up on ways to improve your game. If you're fearful of approaching girls, try overcoming your fear of talking to girls.

Your Physical Appearance is the Show Opener

You don’t need to be a handsome movie start to spark attraction in women, but it helps if you are clean, relatively in shape, presentable, wearing modern/cool clothing and your personal hygiene is good. Don’t fall at the first hurdle by not making the best of yourself. If you want a woman to invest in you, you should be prepared to invest in yourself.

Be in Control of the Situation

Make suggestions, take the lead, make decisions. Act like a leader and you will be treated with more respect. Don’t be too appeasing and willing to give way (this is not a long term relationship – yet!) Status is important to women, if it wasn’t ugly rock stars wouldn’t be dating supermodels! These are just some ideas to embrace and cultivate. Dating is not a perfect science and people are unique and act accordingly. But ensuring you implement the key triggers of attraction into your dating techniques, you will be far more successful.